Value 1: Loving
relationships lie at the heart of the church
Jeff introduced this series, where we shall be
looking at the Vision and Values on which the life of our church community
should be based.
I think I would want to
go even further and say that loving relationships should lie at the heart of
our lives. As Christians, our lives
the way we conduct ourselves the way we behave towards other people everything
about us should be characterised by love.
And that isnt to say that it is always an easy path. Far from it. Sometimes we can find it difficult to feel
love to show love for others. But
the 2 readings we have just heard point us towards what Paul, in 1 Corinthians
13, describes as the most excellent way.
3 things this morning the Why? the What? the How?
Why should love
be at the heart of our church life?
What is it? What is this thing called love?
How on earth do
we do it? Is it achievable?
Loving
people is a great joy [& privilege] but can also be quite hard work! So why do it?
Well, it seems to me that we have no choice. Love is not optional.
Nowhere in the Bible do we read that
Jesus gives us any choice in this whole business of loving. He doesnt say that he thinks it would be a
nice idea if we loved one another.
He doesnt say that we should love the people who are on our
wavelength the people who go to the right schools the people
who live in the better parts of town.
He says very uncomfortably!:
My command is
this: love one another.
So love is not an option
its a divine command.
There is, I think, another reason why
we are called to live this way.
Id like to suggest that it is because we are
created to be in relationship
·
relationship
with God and
·
relationship with one another.
You see, we are created arent we - in the
image of God? And that means that we are
created to live in relationship in community.
God has always been in community. To see why community matters so much to God,
we have to go way back in time even before time began. For many of us, the concept of the Trinity -
Father, Son and Holy Spirit can be quite a difficult one. Three persons one God. But, difficult or not, the whole idea of the
Trinity is vitally important because it tells us that God himself has
been in community throughout eternity.
And if our lives are meant to mirror God's [which
they are!] then we must be looking to see not only how we can build
loving relationships but also how we can sustain them within our
church community in our families - and in the wider community - where we live
where we work.
And the example which we
see in the community of the Godhead is one of total trust and openness a
community where each seeks the good of the others but also and this is
very important a community where others are welcomed and drawn in. This is not an exclusive community. Our doors and our hearts must be open to
receive to welcome all who come.
So why are we called to love one
another? Because love
is not an option. He has always
lived in community in a loving relationship with the Son and the HS - and he
calls us to do the same.
Secondly then, what is this thg called love?
What exactly is it in the
sense we understand it as a Christian community?
The passage in Ephesians likens our life
together to that of a human body
the whole body, joined
and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in
love, as each part does its work. [Eph 4:16]
So that anything which affects one part of the
body affects the rest of the body. I
think that we can readily understand that analogy that comparison. We all know that if our knee hurts it
affects the way we walk. If we go on
walking in a way which compensates for the discomfort and minimises it we
soon end up - not only with a very odd walk - but also with a body which is all
out of kilter
and other parts of us start to ache because they are feeling
the knock-on effects. Body a good
description.
I think the other definition of love, which I
find more powerful as time goes by, is that love real, sacrificial,
self-giving love is cross-shaped.
At the centre of the illustration on our Vision cards, is a cross.
It reminds us that our lives are lived in [at least] two dimensions:
·
the
vertical/upright pole of the cross, which describes our relationship with God;
·
and the horizontal crossbar, which represents our
relationship with other people.
God's love draws us to himself
and compels us to reach out. This cross-shaped life of love.
And precisely because love is cross-shaped, it
can be painful. When we love people, we
become vulnerable.
If our life as a Christian community has love at
the core of its being then we shall know pain. We cannot love people without being affected by what happens to
them.
We hurt when things go wrong. We share the pain of others when their
lives are in a mess.
I dont think that means that we can opt out of
loving. It may push us beyond our
comfort zones - but thats not always a bad thing! As I recall, Jesus didnt do
comfortable so we shouldnt really be surprised that he calls us to
inhabit a life of love, even though it may be as painful, sometimes, as it
is fulfilling/warming at other times.
Weve looked at the why of
loving. Weve looked, briefly at what
living in relationship with others is
about.
Finally then
the how.
How do we embody this idea of living in relationship of love with each
other?
Two pointers, perhaps
1.
by living it &
2.
by expressing
it.
How do we live it?
Someone has said this:
The life of God is a life of self-giving and other-receiving love.
It may be that people come precisely because
they are broken hurting in need of help.
It may be that we are broken - hurting in need of help
but
somehow weve managed to keep it hidden from the other people around us.
It is often in our broken-ness that we need to
let in trusted friends sometimes even strangers! who
can walk with us. Can be easier to put
up the barricades pull up the drawbridge shut people out. Shut out the pain. But that is not what we are called to.
And so we are all called
to minister love acceptance grace. But also sometimes the harder call
is that we are called to be on the receiving end of love acceptance
grace. Because in giving and
receiving all those things there is healing. It will not be instant almost certainly it will not be. But it will be a beginning. In the case of grief
loss of any kind [not
only bereavement] it may well take a long, long time. But it may be a beginning.
Over the past couple of years, we have
experienced quite a number of bereavements within our community. In the space of the last six months, we have
also lost two teenagers James & Alex Lydia [8 months] and Charlie [a 14
month old] all unexpected. All these
losses have been and remain - unbelievably painful. They affect us all and so they should. Alexs death, this week, bring us up short -
again - because it puts us in touch with our own mortality. It makes us think very deeply about matters
of life and death
about loving and being loved.
So we live out this life of love, by
being there for one another.
But for me, it also brings home the importance
of expressing our love for one another.
Not very British, is it? Though I think were getting better
But think for a moment. When was the last time you told someone you
loved them? May have
been this morning. But may not have been for quite some time.
I think we need to cultivate the habit not
just of thanking people for what they do but telling them we
appreciate them/value them/love them for who they are. And if its not something you do its not
too late to make a start. But dont
leave it until its too late
I want to close with a
story I heard at a conference in November.
About importance of putting love into words.
The speaker was saying
that ever since his children were small, he had made a point of telling them he
loved them especially when they said goodnight or goodbye. It became a part of how they related to one
another a part of the loving relationships expressed within their
family.
One day, this man went to see his son off, as he
was preparing to go sailing with some friends. He
said that he was very conscious, as they chatted, of his age [50-something!]
and the age of his son and his friends [20-something!]. As the time neared for him to leave, he wondered
- What would they say to one another?
Could they part as they always did?
What would these other guys think?
Well, he thought, What the heck? They think Im just an old man anyway. They dont even think Im cool. So, as he walked away, he called over his
shoulder, as he always did Bye
Todd. Love you. A momentary pause [heart stopping]
then
back came the reply. Bye. Love you Dad.
Why should
they? Because love is not an option. It is a divine command.
What is
this thing called love?
a life of
self-giving and other-receiving love.
Love without limit.
How can we
love? By living it. By giving voice to it.
Tell someone
if thats not your way, drop them a card
pick up the phone
Loving
relationships lie at the heart of the church
At the heart of this
communion service is a love that knows no limits. The love of Jesus for each one of us.
Take a few moments to be
still. You may want to look at the
picture you were given as you came in.
Take time to be open before God.
To ask him how we can be more loving.
To ask him how we can express the love which is in us.
At end of the time, I
will say a brief prayer.
Prayer
We complicate our faith and lives in many ways,
but at the core, our purpose is simple: we are called to love.
Jesus says, My command
is this: Love each other as I have loved you. [John 15:12]
Lord, in your mercy Hear
our prayer